Avoid These Traps When Using Funny Quotes

If you're a fan of our site (and there's no reason you shouldn't be!) you probably understand the power and versality of funny quotes. In fact, we ourselves understand the power and versality of funny quotes - that's why we host this site in the first place. Funny quotes are the chicken and rice of witty repartee; they help us express ourselves, they reimagine reality and point out sore truths. You can use them with your friends, coworkers and partners; your family, your relatives, and even your pets (if you're so inclined. We at funnyquotesonline.org don't recommend trying to teach your dog English, but if you do, use funny quotes. Best bang for your buck.)

That said, the strength of funny quotes also belies some danger. Because funny quotes are often true in a sad way (think of the amount that speak about men and women, relationships, the nature of money, work, absurdity of life and so on) they're not always welcome and not all ears are attuned to their frequency. Obviously not all funny quotes are the same, and they span the entire breadth of the human experience. But it's simply the case that there are better situations to use them; there are rules of etiquette, and there are traps you should avoid when imparting your funny quotes to friends and family.

First of all, delivery is an absolute must. Unless you've bookmarked funnyquotesonline.org on your iPhone (a superb idea, in our opinion) you'll have to memorize a great quote either by reading it every so often or by repeating it out loud. Don't flub your funny quotes when you're saying them in real life! It's a must that you get the wording exactly right; like most jokes, funny quotes are all about timing and delivery, and because they're often witty as well as funny, you can't afford to stumble, mumble, omit or screw up the word order. Persons training for charismatic occupations, like politicians, take oratory classes where they recite passages to themselves in the mirror as if an audience is watching. For funny quotes, this is a practice we strongly recommend. To capture your audience's spirits with funny quotes, you need to deliver them with poise, force and a clear voice. Take the nature of the funny quotes themselves into account: are they sarcastic? (Most are. Or at least sardonic.) Are they suitable for some people and not others?

Funny quotes can be appropriate and inappropriate not just depending on their content or subject matter but on who's listening. Try not to paste funny quotes about marital sex if your mother-in-law is often about the house. Keep the funny quotes about the inhumanity of man and his propensity towards war and violence safely up in your head if the only person listening is your three-year-old son. (Well, if you're a no-nonsense kind of parent, you could try preparing him for the world he's being raised in. Funny quotes might ease the blow.)

If you're coining your own funny quotes, here's some tips and more traps to avoid:

- Get the wordage down as far as you can. In fact, some of the best funny quotes are only one or two sentences long at most. The idea is to distill the essence of a humorous or ironic thing in life so that all the superfluous fluff is removed. Read our funny quotes compendium and you'll see what we mean.

- Be honest. The best humor is often painful. We don't all want to hear the truth, but funny quotes speak directly to the soul in a way that transcends that innate human aversion to reality.

- Conversely, try not to be too spiteful. Humor requires a kind of gentleman's (or gentlelady's) flair, and if your own funny quotes have an air of worldliness about them - that you've been and done it all - they'll make the history books. Funny quotes usually arise from a cynical mind; one that had hope about life and lost it.

And one last tip for all would-be quote hounds:

- Don't overuse them! Ever heard of homeopathy? It's a pseudoscience where the theory is that the less medicine you take, the more potent its results are. Sounds ridiculous? Maybe so, but with funny quotes it couldn't be more on the nose. Wait until the right moment or situation, and deliver a funny quote that says something about what just happened. Use them as email footers, Facebook statuses or away messages. But do so sparingly. We love funny quotes as much as the next netizen, but funny quotes in a crowd are certainly best shared in small doses.